According to Alexander Boswell - in his article Practical Self Development Advice From A Monk,  one of the keys to self development includes being honest with yourself.

Try this:

Get a piece of paper and pen, or use a notation app, and write down these five words:

- Recreation
- Health
- Profession
- Relationships
- Mission

Next to each one, rate how good you feel about your current experience of each one out of 10.

For clarity, recreation refers to how much fun you’re generally having, health refers to your overall health and wellbeing. The profession is your working life, and relationships can apply to friendships as well as family or a spouse. Lastly, mission refers to how much you feel you have a purpose in life, a ‘mission’ to accomplish.

Doing this exercise is meant to show you where you put your time and energy. If one or two are quite high and others are low, this indicates that you are giving parts of your life a lot more effort than other things that are just as important. We should be trying to seek a more balanced outlook.

For example, when Alexander (the author) did this, his results are as follows:

Recreation = 3
Health = 8
Profession = 6
Relationships = 2
Mission = 5

"Looking at this, I can see that I prioritise my health and working life far greater than having fun and building relationships. My life mission is also still a bit unclear to me, but I know I want to help people. So I’ve figured that perhaps lately I’ve been more selfish than I realised, these things I’ve prioritised only benefit me. So for the chance of richer life experience, I’ll be moving ahead by looking closer at my relationships, which will likely influence my time having fun as well."

Why not have a go? You even surprise yourself at the outcome!

A book worth reading is Atomic Habits by James Clear, in this ground-breaking book, Clear reveals how minuscule changes can grow into life-altering outcomes. In fact, real change comes from the compound effect of hundreds of small decisions e.g. doing two push-ups a day, waking up five minutes early, or holding a single short phone call.

Here are some handy snippets:

‍Clarity > Motivation: “Many people think they lack motivation when what they really lack is clarity. It is not always obvious when and where to take action. Some people spend their entire lives waiting for the time to be right to make an improvement.”

‍Behaviour Connectedness: “No behaviour happens in isolation. Each action becomes a cue that triggers the next behaviour.”

‍“The most effective form of motivation is progress.”

It's much easier to remain within the boundaries of where you feel comfortable than it is to face the fear of venturing beyond them.

But by limiting yourself to what you already know, you're likely missing out on professional opportunities, life experiences, and personal growth.

Want to get out of your safe cocoon but don't know where to begin? The hardest part is taking the first step. Here's some ideas:

Put yourself in a new environment
"Begin with some small changes that do not present any real threat, such as eating at a different restaurant in a different part of town, or attending an art exhibit or gun show. The idea is to place yourself in new arenas where you control the interaction."
— Barbara Carleton

Say "yes" more often
"Say yes even when you don't think you're ready. ... If you are working, say yes to new projects, new assignments, new roles — even when you have not done it before. It opens up huge opportunities in your career. Who knows — you might find yourself enjoying something you never got the chance to explore earlier."
— Corrine Lin

‍Remember that tomorrow is a new day
‍"It helps to remember that what doesn't kill you generally really does make you stronger — you will survive, you will heal, you will learn something, you will have a better chance of emerging unscathed next time."
— Nate Waddoups